“McCain Be Old” – Jelly Doughnut
Jelly first caught my eye with his freestyle in a doughnut suit on Youtube. I saw it around the same time as SNL’s Lazy Sunday and thought he was more entertaining so I share his new video on John McCain.
Update 3: Entire lyrics for “McCain Be Old” song
Yo, this milk is really old,
The Dead Sea Scrolls are pretty old man,
Well, you guys want to know what’s really old?
McCain be old
He witnessed the Big Bang, Oh, he’s old,
He still uses an abacus, how’d he get so old,
He breastfed Strom Thurman, McCain’s old,
He’s a hunter gatherer,
Yo, O-L-D, that’s what McCain be,
Older than the dude with the Grail at the end of Indiana Jones 3, (what)
Everything he touches turns into an antique,
He looks like Skeletor with hella more cheeks, (heh)
He’s older than bacon, (what)
He’s older than Satan, (what)
He’s older than the dude who wrote “The Road Not Taken”, Robert Frost?
Yeah, he’s also older than actual frost,
McCain fought in the coliseum and he lost,
He’s old, he helped build Stonehenge,
Oh My God, He’s old,
He uses the barter system,
He’s so old, he dreams in sepia,
That man is old, he was at Moses’ Briss, (snip, snip)
He farts dust, that’s really gross and he’s old,
Fire confuses him, because he’s old,
He remembers the Alamo,
He smells, he’s old,
He was around when all the continents were part of one huge land mass commonly referred to as Pangaea,
Obama be a blog, McCain be hieroglyphics,
Obama be a Segway™, McCain be rickets,
Obama be Dippin’ Dots™, McCain be yak milk,
Obama be Jet Blue, McCain be pterodactyl,
Obama be a gold grill, McCain be dentures,
Obama be Facebook, McCain be Friendster,
Obama be (Mac startup sound), McCain be (dial up modem sound),
…Obama be…actually an intelligent, viable, presidential candidate
McCain be old, He makes makes offerings to Zeus,
Yo, he’s old, glow-in-the-dark stuff scares him,
Knock Knock, Who’s there?
He gave me a Werther’s Original™!
Ring, Who is it?
He’s two years older than himself, he’s old,
He doesn’t remember you,
He can’t hear you, He’s old,
That bible story is actually McCain and Abel,
He’s friends with dirt,
He started wearing Depends™ when Obama started wearing Huggies™ (Cheering, Laughing)
Jelly Doughnut –> Hey, whether you’re voting for Obama or Skeletor,
you’ve got to be registered to do it,
it’s easy (http://voteforchange.com)
Do it online by October 6th and then vote November 4th
If there’s something you can correct help fill in (indicated with ??), contact me by leaving a comment!
Thanks to Laughing Squid