If you write code, this is for you.  I see that just like heroes…programers, coders and developers come in shades of gray.  Some are brave and gentle while others live in spiteful complexity…trapped by their failures of self loathing.

Crybaby Developers

I’m tired of you whiny ass developers who complain about “users”.  If it wasn’t for those users, you wouldn’t be taking in any money for your software.

How dare you accuse the end user of hassling you; without them, you would still be in your parent’s basement.

Want to complain about social media?  How dare you!  If it wasn’t for people who like meeting other people, you wouldn’t even have an application to sell.

Are you building YATA (Yet Another Twitter App) for the iPhone?

Get over yourself and start connecting with people who use your software.  Listen, take note; you just might find your humanity.

Sounds like you have a Napoleon complex and I personallly can’t help you out with that because everytime I interact with someone regarding technology, I listen intently and do my best to help them.  Obviously, you view yourself as some sort of demi-god who can’t be bothered.  Better stack up your FAQ section so the “peon’s” don’t bother you.

Programmer, you may see yourself as too good to be true but thankfully there are developers out there who give a s**t about end users

Developers Who Walk On Water

You know who you are.  Your end users send you candy, coffee, chocolate and compliments.  They write rave reveiws about you all over the internet and ask to interview you because yes, you’re just that awesome.

You can identify with the struggle of the end user and it shows in how you develop your software.  I appreciate that about you.

You spend time listening to what your users want.  You surf the forums, you check your Facebook Fan page and Twitter so often we blush at how quickly you reply to our questions.

You surprise us with new features on a Saturday night.  It’s like you’re reading my mind.  We want our kids to grow up and develop software as effortlessly as you do.  You are a beacon of hope in the development community.

What are your life goals?  I don’t know but what I do see is you are investing in something you enjoy.  You’ve selected a career that you’re in sync with.  You have so many fans of your application it’s sort of silly to think you could ever work for someone else again because you have that special “oomph” that makes how you do, what you do, stand out from the rest.

I see you at the conference table; smiling.

Thank you.

photo credit: Digger/ATL

photo credit: kevygee