I am sharing the following email correspondence to illustrate how some people have no clue that their energy is so negative that even I don’t want to associate with them. No longer willing to spend time with emotional vampires and people who play mind games, I’ve tried, for several years now, to tell “Chuck T” (name changed for privacy), that I simply do not and will not interact with him.
Hopefully today…he gets it
Adria Richards
———- Forwarded message ———-
From:
Adria Richards <adria.richards@butyoureagirl.com> Date: Tue, Jan 5, 2010 at 12:24 AM
Subject: Re: 2010 Wishes
To: Chuck T
Chuck T,
Let me make this crystal clear.
This is about YOU.
This isn’t about the BDPA as a program or any other program out there running to help people regardless of their age, race or gender.
I think you’re a tire kicker.
You blame others.
You don’t take accountability or responsibility for things.
You seek a scapegoat.
Yes, you sit on a corporate job and don’t push yourself.
I don’t need excuses. I didn’t need them back then.
I work with people who take action. Who get things done because they have a burning desire in their heart to do so. Many of these folks I’m talking about are Brown.
I feel you are toxic. You are an energy vampire looking to clamp onto someone and then, if anything goes right, take the credit. If anything fails, point the finger.
I hope this feedback, in it’s raw form will give you food for thought as to why you are part of a very, select group of people I am unwilling to deal with.
The email you read may seem harsh. I sent it after receiving this incredibly insane followup email from “Chuck T”. Doesn’t it ever get old in his life to blame others for his failures? Guess not.
On Mon, Jan 4, 2010 at 1:15 PM, <removed> wrote:
Hello Adria,
No matter how this sounds, and I won’t reply further…just had this response on my mind, I even prayed over sending it to you…but whatever message it sends, consider it temporal ….
Sorry, I didn’t realize the seriousness of your concern hence the ongoing unanswered requests (guilt administered – got it) …. in August 2007 it was all about the kids (who were a mess) and an eternity ago …and you are right, I have dabbled in my business having a corporate IT job and steady pay than depending on the business income an would generate is serious not trivial – makes complete sense … but also keep in mind, I have truly respected your business acumen and skills until now and would have supported whatever activities I could that made sense.
I guess this all makes sense now….from memory, we had the you were always late to the BDPA kids session, looked down on them and negative about the class & feedback critique issue. Times do change. Programs run for free do change. We now have shaken out plenty of bugs in that system and did successfully complete our goal(s) of getting kids college scholarships and IT internships….
Life is “Organic” not “Perfect”…it is strong yet flexible adjusting to the need. Well, us trying is better than putting up brick walls in my opinion.
Having said that, I merely looked to you as someone that has gifts to give back to the community and leverage your network to build your business as well.
But I have securely locked in your position and will refrain from bothering you about this again. I wish I would have reviewed that email from 2 1/2 years ago…lol.
Am truly sorry I asked. Makes sense.
Best wishes in your adventures..and a healthy start to 2010!!!
Chuck T-
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
Date: Mon, 4 Jan 2010 12:40:13 -0600
To: <removed>
Subject: Re: 2010 Wishes
Chuck T,
You may not remember but I sent you an email saying I didn’t like how you did business.
My email from August 9th, 2007 still stands. I don’t feel you’re serious about business and technology. You dabble. I don’t have time for dabblers.
Thanks,
Adria Richards
Organic Technology Consultant
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On Thu, Aug 9, 2007 at 6:32 AM, Adria Richards
<removed> wrote:
Chuck T,
In what capacity do you mean? I want to make it clear I was expecting
something to move forward opportunity wise from our talks last year
with technology or the web. I felt you let me down when you said you
were going to get images and video of the students for the dinner
ceremony and didn’t. I told the parent that you did not follow
through and I didn’t have enough to work with to make a powerpoint
presentation.
So far, your words have not matched your actions on things that were
important to me so I’m wary of entering into something new. I’m
impressed by people who follow through no matter who their actions
benefit.
This may be a surprise but I didn’t think it warranted a special
meeting to let you know where I was at on how things have gone
regarding opportunities through you.
If you can speak to this, great. If you are looking for me to
volunteer, I’m not interested for the remainder of the year because I
have volunteer projects lined up to keep me plenty busy. I also have
been asked back by the Community Education program to teach more
classes this fall.
Thank you for the notice but unless it’s something of substance, I’m
not interested.
Adria Richards
On Mon, Jan 4, 2010 at 11:48 AM, <removed> wrote:
And this is because I received the following email this morning AFTER I ignored his LinkedIN invitation. Yes, I asked Twitter and they said, “Well maybe he sent you an invite by accident. If you made it clear you didn’t want to work with him.”. Nope!
Hello Adria,
Hope all is well with you…if interested would be happy to discuss opportunities in place for me in 2010 and see if you have any interest or desire.
In particular, starting in March I’ll be packaging self-service websites and stepping up PC repair locally…not majorly but taking it on now that I have a few more people wanting upgrades and viruses removed…basically wipe HD’s and reinstalls done. My focus is, and I know this is crazy…lol…but “paid” customers, go figure 
Also, we won 4th place nationally in the BDPA programming competition. Last years team was “dramatically” different group of kids than the group you observed. We expect to maintain position and improve to top 3 in the nation. Very awesome core developers, we have 2 more dedicated volunteers and am looking for a 3rd. I took on additional responsibility too and we’ll be working with the state on moving the program to a higher level.
Lastly, you taught A+ certification. I’d like to see how you think that would fit with the youth and do a joint optional subscription to do some one-off classes in the community would work.
All that said, …really just hope all is well and now realizing my dream of focusing in on business.
Take care!
Chuck T
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
So the moral of the story is that you should continue to give people second chances but strike them out at 3. What he wants is to use my skills for his gain. I have decided that investing in any “causes” associated with this guy are a disservice to the people “receiving” the services and a disservice to myself because I can do a whole lot more when I’m surrounded by positive, motivated people.
Remember, People don’t change. What you observe: is.
Don’t hang around and “hope” people you work with will change. Establish your boundaries and deflect toxic folks like this.
Photo Credit: Chris Halford
